I am just sitting here listening to the Thunder.
I am also listening to Mom in the kitchen downstairs. She is coping but it makes me sad. I get up from the la z boy and go to the bed and then I thought I would sit at the computer for a change of pace. My back is sore. I am wrapped in a prayer shawl that was knitted for me. Drew brought over a card from everyone from the movie I left when I got sick. There was quite a bit of cash in it and I wept. I am so touched by this kindness and generousness. I am going to try and drink some chicken broth. i need some sustenance. I don't know if I can do anything but clear. I have been laying here thinking of foods but I don't think it would be good to eat suddenly. i think i need to step up slowly. Besides my stomach is so swollen, I can't eat much anyway. I wish I could do a carnation instant breakfast but I am afraid the dairy would make me hurl.
ok that is all the news from the sick lady today.
I miss my sister.
I miss talking to my friends, but I am just not up to it. i will be soon. I love you guys.
ellen, my heart goes out to you. i know you are so worried about your mother. it makes me so sad to hear you talk about it. i miss my mom so much.
ReplyDeleteon a brighter note, at least you're having thunder, and presumably rain. we haven't had rain in several months here. there were wildfire warnings posted for awhile on those signs above the highways, the ones that usually tell you how long it's going to take to get to the next junction. they also run "missing elderly" notices on these signs here. those make me sad. both maternal grandparents had alzheimer's and i think about them when i see the pleas for help.
anyway, i long for rain. i don't think i could live in the desert. when there's been no rain for this long one begins to feel something akin to claustrophobia. you're antsy and itchy and feel like something incredibly vital is missing from your body. i need to get back to the east, perhaps sooner than i had thought.
despite the lack of rain, everything is starting to bloom and things are green (mostly) and the life cycle continues. it was 85 degrees here today. before you know it, it will be too hot to be outside at all. a cold front is moving in right now, and so i've got the doors and windows open. i can hear my neighbors talking outside to their daughter. she is 3 and is really cute. if her front door is open, when i back out of the driveway, she runs up to the door and waves bye. it brightens my day.
hang in there, ellen. life is shitty right now, but you have a lot of love surrounding you, and a lot of love still to give.
XOXOXOXO
rachel
I love the rain and thunder and especially sitting out on the porch during a big storm - did you know it hardly ever thunders in San Francisco (I'm getting a bit more in Amsterdam). I think it's because the cold air storms coming off the Pacific never met with any warm air (that's further inland). I had to go NC or Atlanta for a nice big crashing afternoon thunderstorm.
ReplyDeleteYou don't realize how much you miss them until you don't have them anymore. Something else I've really missed since moving to Europe is NPR. I finally got an iPhone app that lets me stream the broadcasts and my favorite shows (in bed usually). There's even one for "This American Life" - with an archive from the last 10 years. It's online too and free. It might be a nice way to pass the time - such great stories. I also recently discovered the Pop Culture Happy Hour that features a bunch of funny nerdy folks from NPR talking about music, comics, film and whatever pop culture meme is happening this week. You should check it out. It will make you laugh.
http://www.npr.org/templates/archives/archive.php?thingId=129472378
I hope you have a peaceful, comfortable day Ellen.
xo,
Catherine
hey ellen, it rained today! WTF?!?! seriously! so excited!!! did you have anything to do with that?!
ReplyDeleterachel