My Mom just asks me the same thing over and over. She throws away food if it more than 2 days old. We will die if we eat it. She doesn't get that I can't eat. I can eat a few things, but she doesn't get what they are. Think soup and jello. I was eating more but then things changed this week. She was going to throw away all the prepackaged jello because it is taking up room in the fridge, one of the few things I can eat. She compulsively throws food away. If I wake up in the night for a bit, she thinks she can start the washing machine at 5 am. It is next to my room. Some how her brain has vapor locked and this is how he is coping but she can't take care of me. She does 2 loads of laundry everyday and freaks over food. I blew up at her and screamed because she keeps asking me the same questions over and over. But I can't sit in a chair very well. With the hospital bed gone I am laying flat too much. I am unable to drink liquid except in slow increments. I have insomnia. My whole abdomen is tight and swollen and hurts. I am feeing a little better but still bad. I am cranky and I am such a bitch. I don't mean to be but I just can't deal with anything.
I am sorry Mom, I just feel bad.
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The problem is you are all too much alike and it is natural for you to get mad and for Jane to throw out the jello. You all love each other more than words can express and just call me and I will bring more jello and more clorox. If it all gets too bad just have a 20 minute timeout like my grandchildren. We all love you and just hollow and we will be there.
ReplyDeleteSorry about the spelling----don't hollow but holler!!!!!
ReplyDeleteHmmmm - would jello in cups already made with an expiration date work? I'll send you some FEDEX! How about frozen Koolade Popsicle sticks, they can last a bit. I'm so sorry that your mom washes that early - I would freak out too. I don't think you are being a bitch at all - just trying to cope with so much stuff at once. I would be mad too. Remember, under the best of circumstances we always fight with those we are closest to - it's true. I wish I lived closer ....
ReplyDeleteJust a guess, but maybe compulsive behavior ramps up when there is stress and worry. So it is Jane's way of coping and caring for you. I remember this bumper sticker: Jesus is coming.Look busy. Makes me think of Jane right now. Something she would see and photograph. That said, you have every right to be the biggest bitch you want to be. You love her, she loves you, and shit is going to bug you. So be a bitch and keep telling her. She is present, intelligent, and ready to kick butt. You know Tony and I love her. I hope you get some rest.
ReplyDeleteDo you want me to bring you some big pillows? I have some Euro size, 26x26. They might help prop you up some. You also might want to consider a recliner for the day time. It would help your back from getting so sore. You need to be a bitch to one of those doctors and see if you can get some relief from the abdominal discomfort. ROAR damnit, if you want to! And don't worry about what time it is, sleep when you need to.
ReplyDeletewe are going to the lazboy store today.
ReplyDeleteA reclining chair will be great and you'll feel so much better. Being in bed for a while can make you ACHE all over, especially after surgery. Our bodies just aren't used to lying down all the time. I'm so sorry you feel bad and I'm sorry you feel bad for getting mad. It comes to mind that in situations where we feel that our world is spinning out of control, our first instinct is to GET control. Maybe your mom is controlling the things she knows she can control - food, cleaning, etc. The Lord bless you both. I'm praying for you ..
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