Not sure what s up today. I feel a little nauseAted. I also really don't feel like doing my outings. Maybe I am just really tired. I rest a lot. I have been pushing myself but maybe. You can only do it for so long. Soooo, I am watching reruns of celebrity rehab and thinking about taking another walk. I have also been thinking about what I
Liked as a child and what would taste good. I remember going to Baskin Robbins on Roswell Rd. I would always get chocolate mint chip or daiquiri ice and I realized that would taste so good. I remember gng out in the fields at my great aunts and dropping a watermelon on the ground in the dirt And eating it in the Dewey garden. It tasted different than the grocery store ones. Fresh, homegrown, and I just started craving watermelon. My great aunt would fry chicken, and make chicken and dumplings. I think when I was really small, the chickens were from the yard, and they would grow corn and butter beans and I suddenly want Carries food so bad. She never used anything bu salt and pepper and grew all her vegetables and I doubt I will ever taste anything that good again. If I could just go back for 10minutes, I would. If I could just have all my aunts and my dad and granny for 5 minutes I would be the happiest girl in the world. I know I could beat this if I could just have one hug from each of them. But I can't. But I will fight, it would just be so nice to have them for a minute. This would be so much easier. I am so bored and tired and still scared. I feel better but I don't know if this is going to work. I try to stay upbeat but it is hard. I just feel like I have cancer today and it sux.
We will never have food as good as Carrie's for as long as we live. I know it. It was made mainly of love. I would do anything to have all of them - Dad, Auntie, Granny, Aunt Eh, Carrie, Fay, Henderson, Charles, etc - for just a couple of minutes, too. All would be right with the world. They are with you right now whether you can see them or not and I know they are rooting for you to beat the cancer. XO - Lulu
ReplyDeleteThe smell of fried chicken and butterbeans brings back memories of my childhood too. I can remember my grandmother's kitchen in Macon with the screen door that had cotton balls stuck in the holes to keep the flies out. There was no a/c so that screen door was pretty much the bomb. When a I catch that smell, it transports me back to that ktichen and I am 8 years old again, just for a moment. Funny how memories tied to food and smells can comfort us and make us sad at the same time. I think prehaps you are being more reflective because Leslie is gone and it's too quiet. Hopefully tomorrow, we can have girl's night in and take your mind off for a minute.
ReplyDeleteI know, Carrie lived with my great gamma, her Mom. The bathroom always smelled like bleach, leaking gas, and burnt matches. Mamie would dip snuff and I would grab a chocolate from the Whitman sampler box and tuck it in my lip and copy her. The other thing Carrie made was that black bottom pie with the meringue topping.... Oh god. The best. I know they are with me but it would begetter to hear them laugh. Granny never laughed but they did.
ReplyDeleteThe smell of a good soup stock simmering on the stove does it for me. My mother ( a German woman who never got the hang of Southern cooking) was the world's WORST fried chicken cooker, and it was bad. I mean B.A.D. But... she could create some of the best soups in the world. Fresh from the garden baby carrot soup, shrimp and tomato bisque, oxtail soup, green bean soup. You name it, she made the most amazing soups. One of my best memories for my sons (then about 12 & 9) was on a day on St. Simon's Island in a hotter-than-the-hubs-of-hell summer day and Momma cooked the green bean soup my children requested from her. They asked her to make it for them before we trekked down there, because that previous winter she served it to them and they both fell in love with it. She, ever the amazing Omi, obliged gladly. She's been gone since January's 2004, and my sons still reminisce about that day.
ReplyDeleteMy Granny used to fry chicken in an electric skillet. She skinned it and soaked it in buttermilk first. She also had a garden all her life and canned her own beans, and other veggies. She also drank well water which tasted really funny, probably from the pipes. My Mother used to bring her own water when we went to visit which pissed Granny off.
ReplyDeleteWhen she passed, after her service, my sister's and I ran to her basement and confiscated all the canned green beans. We had a special meal in her honor on Mother's Day the following year with those beans and they were so good.
I planted a small garden this year in my yard. I look out there and think about Granny and her garden every day and hope I'm just as fiesty as she was at 90.