So chemo Is today. I did not get as anxious this time before. I guess i know the drill. I ate breakfast and it stayed down but liquid is not. I came to moms yesterday and my stomach really hurt so i laid in bed and watched tv and took the pain pills. Today i feel pretty good just weak. Chemo will take all day. I have snacks packed. I know when i get home i will feel jacked up from the steroids and punky from the taxol/ carbo platin. I have gotten some really nice emails from people and it means so much to me. I also ha e gotten some really nice responses to my blog. I must confess i really do not consider myself a writer. I am flattered.i have mentioined this before, writing terrified me in school. Give me a test, make me do trig. Some calculus, but please do not make me write a paper. This blog is an outlet for me. I get support, mostly. I get advice. I am able to vent. I have found alot of my friends cant handle Venting and they tell me my feelings are wrong or silly. So i cant share that with them but venting is the one thing i desperately need to do. Plus when you are told your feelings are wrong, or silly or stupid.... Then you need to move on. Gotta keep truckin in search of morpositive support and friendship. Which i am lucky, i do have friends.more than i realized.
Ized.
I still don't understand how anyone could be at all critical of you and/or your feelings during this fight. People can really be douches. The best thing about your writing is that it is funny like you are; your voice is what makes it come alive!!! I hope chemo goes well for you today. xoxoxoxoxo
ReplyDeleteDear Ellen,
ReplyDeleteI have hesitated to comment before because I really wondered if you wanted to hear from strangers. But I want you to know I think your writing is wonderful and hilarious and you sound like such a cool person. Hope chemo day goes well for you...
annie
I hope your chemo day goes smoothly today. Your feelings are yours alone and no one has the right to judge them. Vent,complain,cry,scream,rest,smile. Thinking of you and hoping that you don't have side effects- just that the chemo does its job today.
ReplyDeleteI agree with everything cancersucks says! I also want to 'fix' everything for you and put you where you were before, but we all know that is impossible. I think that's also how your mom feels, or I'd be willing to bet. Believe it or not, you, in some weird way give me strength, I adore and cherish you! XO
ReplyDeletePeggy
Hope the time passes quickly today at chemo, Ellen. I love the way you write - straight from the heart, without mincing words. You are a funny, straight-shootin' writer and I am pulling for you here in Dallas. Peace :-)
ReplyDeleteKristin N.