Today is better, I was just having to digest everything. I just felt like being a cancer patient yesterday. Somedays I don't. In one of blogs I posted , why do friends abandon you when you get sick? I was specifically was referring to 2 people. Someone wrote that I had pushed them away and I probably thought they abandoned me. They did not sign their name. It seems when people post shit like that or the post that i was going to die because I had no faith, the person never has the guts to sign their name. I have decided 2 things. If you are going to write something hurtful or challenge me and you don't have the guts to say who you are, i am going to just delete it. For that matter I can delete whatever anyone posts.
As far as pushing people away, there are some people I tak to more because I only have so much energy. i appreciate all the emails posts and cards. It all means the world to me. I read it all. I have stage 4 cancer that has spread to my lungs, I am taking one of the strongest chemo treatments you can take, so please so not think I have pushed anyine away. I can only deal with so much. I have a finite amount of energy. Even on my good days, I am at about 35% of the old me. If I go somewhere like the grocery store, i come home and wind up on the sofa for a while ro feel better. So there you go..... Today i have nothing planned except for some nice tummy rubs for Rid. That is all..... Oh and ps thank you JoAnn KAtie, and Cancer sucks and Jainie and othrs for all you cancer support and your encouragemnet. To the negative posters, thanks for trying to punch my buttons and make me feel bad but I have one thing to say, "fuck off", I will continue to delete your posts. Maybe you will be really sick one day, and people will be mean to you.
Way to tell off the haters! There is a way in settings to disable anonymous comments if you want. All bloggers get negative comments at some point. It still hurts. When I had my blog I commented on a blog about how lucky she is to have such a wonderful mom. Bloggers mom makes a whole fun filled granny camp & the blogger has a week off as busy mom. Well she wrote me back some mean comment that I must be mean to my mom and that I need therapy and she feels sorry for my mom! Can u believe that? Meanwhile my mom never came to visit me anytime I was in the hospital, never took me to radiation or chemo,etc. She just couldn't deal with it. She did help me at times with my 3 little ones which I do appreciate. I couln 't even read a book before bed to my 2 year old. I was so sick. So even though I dont know exactly what you are going through I can relate to you a lot. I love your honesty. Keep up the strong fight and Livestrong. Tomorrow is my anniversary of being diagnosed w cancer 4 years ago. I organized our book club to bring and serve breakfast to families at the ronald mcdonald house near CHOP in Philly. Take that cancer!
ReplyDeleteEllen, I am so sorry to hear that you have received hurtful messages - as if you didn't have enough to deal with. I hope you have a peaceful day with Rid. Dogs are the best therapy, pure love wrapped in fur. Here's a little dog humor for Friday:
ReplyDeleteEver consider what our dogs must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul -- chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!
-Anne Tyler
Peace!
Carpé Diem darlin', that's all you can do. Love.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, I'm shocked at people's callousness - how dare they? And, GOOD FOR YOU to give it right back, F#$K$(S! You are a rock and handeling this as well as you can - BEAUTIFULLY! There are so many who love you and are sending postive thoughts and healing prayers your way! I know you don't have the stamina to ask 50 questions, but always do your best or ask whoever is with you to ASK, ASK, ASK, and don't stop till they give you an answer or are stumped...
ReplyDeleteI love you and hope you have a great day and weekend! Peggy
I am so sorry you have been hurt, Ellen.....as if you do not have enough to deal with.
ReplyDeleteAfter my surgery, I had a family meeting with my husband, sister, my grown son and daughter, and my son-in-law. My son-in-law had done a lot of research and we listed all the questions we needed to be answered by the doctors. We also listed all of my everyday "stressors" and assigned them to other people (trips to the vet, grocery shopping, paying bills, car repairs, etc).
I always had an advocate with me at doctor's appointments and during chemo. I went to radiation on my own but on the days when I met with the doctor, someone was there with me. That was such a relief because sometimes it was just so overwhelming to take in so much information.
Also, I screened my phone calls and asked people, on the whole, not to call me because all I did was cry when I was talking to people on the phone. Almost everyone honored my request.
Keeping you in my thoughts and hoping the better days outnumber the bad ones.
I love Lambchop but I want to come up and see you and meet Lulu. I am intrigued.
ReplyDeleteI had a great time visiting with you the other day!
Theres some sick fucks out there ! and Im not talken about you .Im glad your spirit is better , and i hope you can enjoy a day off with little Riddles. And i hope you always know its me .i figure my writhing style shows like pig pin in a halloween costume .We love you so much Ellen.as an excursive i never clean anything with out pretending its your cancer and Im removing it with produce. this is the way i think and i am sure Im not the only one .And tho you'll never answer my letters,I understand and will never send anything but positive energy your way .We love you so much Ellen and Thank you for keeping us posted. before i found your blog i just worried and worried . Well All for now if there is any thing you ever want from me ask...anything
ReplyDeletewade
It's so sad that some people just can't be nice and be supportive. I hope you have a good day today and get a few things done for yourself and your dog. The good days are going to become more frequent so don't over do anything! Sending hugs and prayers your way.....
ReplyDeleteEgad, Ellen, what is wrong with some people?
ReplyDeleteI had such a great time visiting with you the other day! Of course, we haven't talked much in probably 25+ years, but I thought you sounded exactly the same as I remembered, and I was so happy about that.
Try to concentrate on the people out here who love you and are pulling for you to beat this ugly cancer. I promise you we outnumber the nut cases!
Hope you feel good today.
Love you ~ Weasel
Have you seen this article?
ReplyDeletehttp://www.nytimes.com/2011/06/12/fashion/what-to-say-to-someone-whos-sick-this-life.html?pagewanted=1&_r=2
Sorry I do not know how to make that a link!
Wow, I can't believe anyone would post stuff like that!! I think your blog is so therapeutic for you as well as friends and family so keep it up. Really those sickos need therapy and a lot more than blog therapy! Happy wishes coming your way! Nancy
ReplyDeleteGreat Article JoAnn! Thinking up some good gossip to share now with Ellen. I don't suppose you're interested in Dutch celebrity news, are you? Eh, me neither! :) Love you, Catherine
ReplyDelete