My blog has been a way for me to vent, keep people informed, and gain support. All in all it has been a good release for me and a way to communicate my feelings and convey information. I am going to continue to write my blog but i need a little break. Over the past several weeks I have gained momentum and have continued to feel better. Since chemo is cumulative, this last treatment was harder but I still managed to bounce back. It was harder this time. Really I am not eating and losing more weight. Although I love being thin now I am getting over this. Everyone is like, just get your pants taken up but it is not that simple.
I also am still very nervous about a relapse. This drug could quit working at any time. A friend was like you aren't going to go south. That isn't what my doctors say. I am going to have to stay on top of this the rest of my life. I will never have a nice remission period or a nice break. Since my cancer is so deadly and aggressive I will have to stay on top of it forever. Remember seed tumors the size of a piece of grit grew to the size of an orange in a month. I also had this happen to me before. They have told me I have to stay in touch with my abdomen so I can convey any changes I feel. It is critical for them to hit ti fast. It is life or death. I have 2 more chemo treatments and then we hope a maintenance chemo. The problem is, is there a good maintenance chemo. The one I am on is starting to damage my kidneys and it was the last good option. Statistically, there is a 17% chance I will be where in 5 years. I will continue to fight and keep a good attitude. I know this a difficult fight and these are difficult odds, but there is a reality here. I have to be prepared for this to go well or not.
I hope my appetite will continue to improve. Maybe it will hit today. i am just not in to any food. Nothing is appealing. I have forced food down the past week but it is not pleasant. For some reason, Indian seems to be ok. Weird Huh? Each cycle what I can eat varies.The one thing that remains constantly unappealing is greasy things. Like the butter laden trout they served me at Serpas the other night. Gross.
I am having a renal ultrasound today. No biggie, that is the least invasive procedure I have had.
Anyways the point of all this is I just need a little break. I have chemo in 2 weeks and I want to take this "good time" and try and be productive. Maybe paint or take a small trip and have a tiny break from it all. Anyways that is all for now.
Have a great day! Enjoy this gorgeous fall weather.
Peace
It sounds as if you are heading into a calm but confusing time in your treatment. Sending prayers for a calm time and some good rest. Take a break and keep us posted! Sending hugs and prayers.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the detailed update, I was wondering but didn't want to bug you. Glad you're feeling better. I think Indian Food is a great idea, lots of healing spices in their food.
ReplyDeletewe are right here when you want to talk to us. We are always right here .and no your not going south but if you would like to me to go south ill be right there . all my love .
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