Today is the one year anniversary of my cancer. One year ago today, i woke up in icu. i had had a 6 hour surgery, 5 units of blood and all i wanted was apple juice. That is what they were letting me sip on and I couldn't get enough of it. I didn't knowI had cancer, i just knew I was so horribly thirsty that I couldn't satisfy it. And I was in horrible pain. So I am still here. Still plugging along. I am taking a break from blogging and Facebook and people for the most part. I have found an alternative Dr. that is and I go Monday to see what it all entails. Do not ask me questions. I do not have answers. I am really so sick of questions. People ask them and I don't always have the answers. Then they ask the same thing again. Some people ask question after questions. Some friends don't. What I really hate is when i answer a question and then they question my answer. I just don't have the energy for this. I have gotten taxes done and some house repairs this week, and I went and had the first meeting with the Dr. yesterday. I saw my nephrologist. And that is where I am. I am not doing hospice. I am fighting to live and i hope this buys me some tome. I am not ready for hospice to help me die.I am waiting for Dr. Austen to call me back about a second opinion. My company left. I enjoyed my visit with Saxon. Drew leaves on Tuesday. I really was glad she was here and I was glad to have someone in the house. I am so glad to be back home. It feels so good. Home is where I feel best. i have me dog next to me and I am just happy I have my house and I am happy to be here alive. Ok that's all for now.
Peace
Rock on Ellen!I knew you'd find someone new. Medicine is not an exact science and is an educated guess at best. So glad you've refused to limit yourself, you're a brave brave soul...M.
ReplyDeleteHi, I had a nice visit as well, it was good to just spend a few days hanging out, watching movies and playing with Ridley (Marvin!). I'm booked for April, I'll see you then.
ReplyDeleteNo questions, just good thoughts.
ReplyDeleteAnd just so you know, my brother's in-laws have had Hospice at their home daily for two years. Neither of them have cancer, they just needed help. It is a wonderful organization.
Hugs
JoAnn
I am so happy you are here alive as well. :) There is no one like you.
ReplyDeleteyou rock Ellen! way to go - keep fighting.
ReplyDeletei hear you on the questions - people mean well, it's one way they try to 'help' or feel relevant to your situation. but it's rude & thoughtless. questioning people wanted me to move countries & spend thousands on USA doctors ... for the same condition, USA doctors recommended surgery for my dad, and it made him much much worse. he's never improve, just one problem after another.
follow your instincts, stand your ground & do what you think is right for you. make yourself happy, love yourself & everyone around you loudly & often.
we all support you & believe you know best what to do for you. hugs & love, Kerrin