Saturday, March 24, 2012

The fight is over

Ellen passed away this morning, but not without fighting spirit until the bitter end. She was the strongest and bravest person In this fight and never once complained about the cards she had been dealt or the pain she was in. I am so sad to have lost my sister and will miss so many things about her. My life has a void that she once filled and I am thankful we got to spend so much time together this past year. And, I am especially grateful that I could bring Patrick to her this past week, as she wanted nothing more than to meet her nephew. I hope he brought her some peace and happiness in the end.

I have so much more I want to say, but will let things rest for now. A service for Ellen will be held at some pont soon. I will post details when we have them. Thanks to everyone for your love and support of Ellen this past year. I know it meant the world to her. Peace. Leslie

24 comments:

  1. My heart is breaking for you.

    Ellen was a total stranger to me, but I felt like I had known her forever. I follow Eloise's blog and about a year ago she posted about Ellen and asked that we send her good wishes. I think I was so drawn to Ellen because we were about the same age and I know I would want to be covered in love, by both friends and strangers alike, if I was fighting cancer.

    Blessings to your family....Janie Werner, Louisville ky

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  2. Good bye Ellen. Thanks for sharing so much of yourself, and this experience.
    Kelly

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  3. Lori Rudder DoughertyMarch 24, 2012 at 11:42 AM

    Lesley, Ellen was so very lucky to have such a wonderful sister. You gave her such a beautiful gift in her final days....May the angels hold her tightly and now watch over you and your family. Lori

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  4. She fought the good fight Leslie. My heart goes out to you and your family.

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  5. So sad for the loss of this incredible, vital woman, whom I never knew except through Eloise.

    My heart goes out to your family, Leslie.

    JoAnn Kirk

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  6. Leslie and family,
    I am so terribly sorry for your loss. My heart is so heavy for you all. What an amazing mother and sister you are to have brought your newborn to meet his unbelievably brave and spunky aunt.
    May you somehow find comfort in knowing Ellen is no longer in pain.
    May the Peace of the Lord be and abide with you all always--
    Laura (Eloise's cousin)

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  7. Even though I only knew Ellen through her blog, my heart is broken. I loved her spirit and hope and prayed that somehow a miracle would happen. You were so good to her and she looked so forward to your visits and I'm so happy she got to see Patrick.

    Prayers for peace for your family.

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  8. Leslie, I continue to hold you and your mom in my heart as I have throughout the past year. I wrote this years ago for a dear friend who suddenly lost her husband who was also a dear friend of mine. It has brought comfort to many, including myself at times like this, so I wanted to share it with you and all who are grieving and missing Ellen tonight.

    ONE WITH ALL

    think of me and smile
    I am with you always

    be still
    and you will see me...
    I am the light of the rising sun peeping through your window
    I am the wind flowing through your hair, brushing against your skin
    I am the first breath of spring
    I am the peaceful glow of the moon resting upon the ocean
    I am the water that makes all things new again

    I am here...
    in a million stars smiling down upon you
    in the gentle rain dancing across the earth
    in the darkness watching over you while you sleep
    in the compassionate stranger
    in the birds leading the way

    listen quietly and you will hear me...
    in the roar of the Harley drifting by your side
    in the soft purr of 13 souls so sweet
    in the hush of a freshly fallen snow
    in the children's laughter
    in the song that awakens you

    and when you are not looking
    I will come to you
    in subtle exchanges you cannot explain
    in goose bumps rolling across your being

    and when you close your eyes at the end of the day
    you will feel me in the stillness of your soul

    so think of me and smile, my love
    remember my laughter
    and my joy with you
    know that I am home again
    and complete

    I have not left you

    look closely
    I am here
    just around the corner
    waiting...
    for you...

    © 2008 Elizabeth Johnson Leeper
    All Rights Reserved

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    Replies
    1. Elizabeth, may I copy and share your writing? It is wonderful.
      Everyone, cancer sucks. Ellen is now, finally free of it. Fly, Ellen, fly!

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    2. Yes, Anonymous, I'm happy to share it when asked as long as you include the copyright info as I've done. That's all I ask. I'm glad it has touched you and hope it continues to bring some comfort. Peace to you.

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    3. Thank you. I'm not really anonymous, just have not gone thru the sign up process until right now. Valinda Wolfert, Dallas TX mom of Will 19 y.o. who suffered through a year of rhabdomyosarcoma treatment and is fighting on now, so far no relapse. I was inspired by Ellen. Thank you, I want to share your writing with our rhabdo kids listserve which will much appreciate it. Best, Valinda

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  9. I too never knew Ellen except through the blog, but I've read almost daily. She has helped me keep things in perspective in my own life. Leslie, I am so sorry for your loss. I've prayed for Ellen for a long time. Today I pray for your family. May you find the peace and comfort that only God can provide.

    Michelle in KY

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  10. I worked with Ellen on crazy, kooky, stupid and cheap movies, back before the boom that began in the mid-2000s. Articulate and informal, always opinionated, Ellen drove me bonkers and on more than one occasion and I wanted to yell "Shutup, already, Ellen!!" - but I never did, because she was sweet and smart and never meant to annoy. I never talked to her about her travels because I had no idea the places she'd been. That's the way that we behave, so many of us who have worked in the industry together. We have such intimate feelings about each other, and yet we only know fragments of our friends' lives. I knew Ellen, and I did not. During the months she fought her cancer I never visited her, though I did feel a part of the club, since I'm no stranger to it myself. However, my cancer was removed with a surgeon's touch. I didn't endure chemo. I was never too sick to see friends. My journey wasn't like hers. I'll miss Ellen's voice, a lot. I liked the way she spoke. I hated reading some of her posts here, because every misspelling betrayed the fog of chemo and of sickness. I'll remember Ellen smiling and making nonchalant comments about some crazy work-related situation. I'll see her on set again one day :)

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  11. I am so very sorry to hear of Ellen's passing, She was one of my closet friends in 8th grade.Her dad used to take me to school when Ellen stayed with him. We later worked in the film business together doing props, sets and murals.
    She was a wizard with paints, props and getting the job done. Thank you for the laughs & tears we've shared and for helping me get to school. I will miss you and cherish our memories.
    Jolie

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  12. I will always love you Muffy . -
    Bunny

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  13. I will make Ellen's amazing gumbo this week to honor her memory and culinary spirit. My thoughts and prayers are with her family-such a terrible loss for them. But this blog introduced me to an amazing woman I will never forget-rest in *peace* Ellen!

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  14. This is so sad. I'm especially sad for you, Leslie and your mom. I knew Ellen only briefly while in my junior and senior years at Ridgeview. Unfortunately in December of 1980 I was in a car accident and had a head injury that essentially removed most of my memories of school at Ridgeview. There are very few people who remained in my memory. Ellen was one of those I remember. I feel sad that after we connected again on facebook that I didn't reach out more to her, in her time of need and pain. I also feel relieved that from what I know about the bible, we will see each other again - with perfect circumstances and in perfect health. It's my hope that your wonderful memories of Ellen and how she lived her life will stay with you and influence you in the best way possible. Love to you and your family.

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  15. I am so sad. Cancer is such a cruel horrible disease. God bless your family. I will miss reading Ellen's snarky posts- love of her sweet dog- passion for good food- and all the rest.

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  16. Leslie, I am so sorry for all our loss, but particularly you and your mom's. Thank you for bringing Patrick to see her; it was what she wanted most, and what a blessing you were able to make it happen.
    Yes, please do keep us posted on arrangements. There are many of us from SSNS and RHS that want to pay our respects.
    Meanwhile, our prayers are with you.
    Love, Jenna

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  17. I did not know Ellen - I simply stumbled onto her blog and was drawn in by her words. I lost my first husband when we were in our 20's to brain cancer (30 yrs. ago) - 3 weeks before our son's first birthday. So, I knew what it was like to watch someone put up a fight in the ring against such a formidable opponent. Leslie - you, your Mom and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Know that you are surrounded by love. I hope that Mr. Ridley was there with Ellen -- she loved him so!

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  18. Dear Leslie and Jane,
    We are so sorry to hear of Ellen's passing. What a blessing to have you all by her side and especially the added presence of Patrick - one who is so new from God. Blessings on all of you as you remember, cherish, and mourn. Sincerely - Eddie & Elizabeth Smith

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  19. This blog and all the Facebook posts are a superb tribute to Ellen. We will miss her. So glad she got to meet Patrick - she fought hard for that and won. Healing hugs & and myriad memories as we shift to her living forever in our hearts. Kerrin

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  20. To Ellen's Mother and Sister:

    I live in Washington, LA and met Ellen through her In-Laws, Pat and Terry O'Connor who were very dear friends. I always enjoyed being with her when she came to visit; her sense of humor and love of life. I know she will be missed.

    Susan Tinney

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  21. I too got to know Ellen only through her blog which I found from my college roommate's (Eloise Parker Meachum0 blog. Her strenght of spirit and sense of humor in the face of her suffering are a lesson to us all to live each day we are given to the fullest. I know her family and friends will miss her well. Peace be with you!

    Eleanor Wilson

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