My little story

Sitting in jury duty last winter, I got bored. I then got inspired to write stories about the people sitting with me. Here are a couple of their"fios" The man next me, lived with his mom until he was 42. He left home despondent over the fact that his mother was an outlaw stripper and heroin user in the early days in San Francisco when bikers were new. His father died in Oregon in a logging accident, he was sucked in a chipper because his scarf got
Caught. Elmer, having no paternal role model, ended up collecting barbies 
And socket sets. Upon his departure from his mother's modest abode, he rented an apartment, and became a hoarder. He launched from barbies and tools to a staggering array of collections. Dentures from dead people, bras in all sizes, tupperware, and varied leggings from them80's. His prized pair were worm in the movie fame. The leggings even have the sweat from Jennifer Beals body. He also has all the chopsticks he has ever used. Having a secret penchant for asian women, he collects these chopsticks as a symbol of their demure nature and humble servitude. Elmer is also a virgin. Weighing over 300 pounds, no Asian woman as ever
given him the time of day. He would love a little Vietnamese girl he could all his very own cha gio. Elmer also has gas. He never learned to cook and must eat Beenie weenies and sauerkraut. I think probably there is some raw garlic in there. My hair is flying to one side,
Intuitively escaping this wretched stench. Maybe it is his tortured soul or perhaps the cry of a cancer ridden colon. I am sure David Sedsris would have a much better explanation. On the other hand, sue Beth on the other side of me is feeling sexy in her white blazer and improperly fitted high heels. Although she has a cute figure, her cheap wardrobe make her sort of homely. She gazes at every one with a patronizing air of " i am so fucking better than u"
And yet she so is not. Her hobbies would be wine tasting, she would tell people she gardens but she only knows how to make casseroles from recipes , and the long horn bourbon marinated salmon when company
comes. Recently divorced, she ordered a vibrator with a jack rabbit
attachment and it turned on in her purse while she was at her eye doctor. Obviously acne ridden as a teenager the dermabrasion, carefully applied
makeup, and expensive blond highlights have scored her a few dates frommatch.com. The last man seemed cute hut it did mot work. He was
A funeral director And had a Clammy wet hamdshake and the faint

Reek of Stetson and right guard